Who could have imagined we’d be here today. Traditionally the biggest party night of the year (night before Thanksgiving), and here we are, saying see ya later to a guy who could easily be described as a walking party. Always bringing love and laughter wherever he went - even if he was the subject of all our jokes. {Insert Dad’s pouty face saying, “why you so mean to me”}
In all seriousness, this doesn’t feel real. I still remember the day he called to tell me about the diagnosis. I was trying to take a picture of the full moon on Sept 30th and his big head popped up on my phone. Life changed that day. We thought we’d have years & if anyone could beat this, it was the guy who could talk you into anything with his famous saying…One More, No More.
Which leads me to how I will keep this as short and organized as I can, because talking about him could go on forever so here we go…
One More, No More.
He traditionally said this at the bar, friends house, or anywhere he was where he didn't want the fun to stop. The man loved being around the people he loves, but even more than that, he loved being admired & surrounded by a crowd. When I learned of his cancer, I immediately thought, “one more, no more”! When I called and said, “Dad, you got this! Just one day at a time! One more, no more" - to me it made sense but he immediately said, “Laur!! You’re crazy!! I want many more”
But the reality of it all is although to us he had so much more to give, he lived one more, no more til the day he died. To me it stood for the joy that surrounded the moments of his life, first being the smiles he gave out to those around him.
Over the past week I learned quickly how many lives he’s touched, and was continuing to touch. He didn’t have to try hard at all to make an impact. To all the nurses who cared for him, you were his one more audience to keep his party going, before there would be no more. Thank you.
When he wasn’t entertaining a crowd around him, you could find him on the golf course. You all know how much the man loved to golf. But he mostly loved spending that time with his brothers, friends and especially his son, Eric. “Laur! He hits the ball so far! But I can still beat him!” Well guess what dad, I heard he finally beat you! So as much as you’d all love that one more game with him, there will be no more. His job was done. He got his hole in one & finally got beat by his son.
My dad was much more than a guy who loved fun and golfing. He was extremely hard working, driven and proud of who he became, both personally and professionally. He would never miss an opportunity to remind us kids just how good we had it and that he had it so tough growing up. “Laur! I’d have to eat banana and milk with no cereal, and here you are eating at Springford Country Club” I’d quickly remind him that his company was paying for his membership and he was required to spend x amount each month to keep his membership, so he should thank me!
As much as I loved to tease him, he was the reason I went into sales. He told me he was 30 years old when he first reached his goal salary. I told him I’d crush that, I was 27 when I hit that same salary goal. He was so proud. But then…I called him to tell him I was quitting the corporate life & was going to pursue a career in boxing as a trainer. I’d have no 401k, company car, health benefits, and would be making 1/3 of what I was making. Before he could say anything I gave him a whole talk about life being too short & wanting to feel fulfilled and follow my passion. He said I was crazy and “Laur!! Passion doesn’t pay the bills”. When he got laid off & was on the job hunt, he was going from one sales job to another, always stressed about getting to the point where he could retire. Then he found his one more job before he needed no more. He was the Golf Coach of Lower Merion. I remembered the day he called, “Laur! I’m so happy you took my advice to be a coach, isn’t it so fulfilling!” (Insert my eyeroll).
He loved to drive me nuts, but not just me, all of his kids. He would tease, joke, prank all the time. Even on his death bed he couldn’t resist, he laid their silent and then sat up and screamed “Boo!”. He was relentless! But more than tease us, he loved us, man did he love us. Eric - his boy! He is so so incredibly proud of you, and the man you’ve become. Lisa - his little Lisa who he adored and could do no wrong! I don’t think my dad ever expected to have more than three kids, heck I dont think he expected more than two! We use to tease Lisa that she was adopted. But I’ve never seen him happier than when he got not just one more kid, but two. Dave, Jackie, he loved you as his own. He’d constantly say “my 5 kids” with such pride, or he’d roll his eyes, do a deep Denny sigh and say “my 5 kids” depending on if we were annoying him or not.
You would think his life was complete. But then came Jon Bon, Janette, Seth, and most recently, my husband Howie. Nothing made him happier than seeing his kids getting married and moving out of the house. But then came grandkids! Delaney, Savannah, David & Shay, you made Pop-Pop complete. The joy, excitement & laughter you brought to him was endless. Even though I wish I could give him one more grandchild, you all gave him enough love to need no more.
And now, the woman who made all the joy and love possible…Clarebear. You are his one more. I remember when he started dating again. He wasn’t having it .Tthe best is when he came home & told me how he fell asleep on a date to see the Titanic. After that, I didn’t think he would find anyone, but then came Clare. She was his lead singing, loving, independent Clarebear. I loved watching you two laugh. Whether it was him laughing at you, you laughing at him, you both were always laughing. Even if he was annoying you, or it was late at night and we were all annoying you…at some point it always came back to laughter. Thank you for making my father laugh again, for allowing him to believe in love again and for loving him for exactly who he is. Because of you, he needed no more, although I am sure he would have wanted many more with you.
My Dad’s greatest gift was how he could make people feel. But one of the greatest gifts he ever gave me was the “boxing room”. For those unfamiliar, there was a time B.C. (before Clare) as he would say, when we didnt have any furniture in the dining room. Instead of an embarrassing, maybe even painful void for his kids to experience everyday, he deemed the space “The Boxing Room”. If you were in this room you were free game! There were no rules, every man for themselves! And he wonders why I wanted to box so bad! What originally as a space to try to limit Eric and I’s fights to one room, quickly became the room with the best memories. We had our Christmas tree in there, we danced, we had one of the best NYE ever in there, and I even threw up strawberries after being able to smell him taking a shit from upstairs! I could go on and on but the point is, the void we are all feeling today, let that be our own boxing room. Where we feel emptiness, I hope we find opportunity. A chance to see a blank slate and be excited to fill it with the love, memories and joy he brought us all.
Trust in love, because as I’ve learned from my dad, it provides the best memories, moments & stories. The kind one only understands if you were there. I know every person here has a “you had to be there” Denny story. Let’s be grateful for that, celebrate that, & let’s share those stories. That’s how we keep him alive. That’s what he’d want- to continue being the center of attention & the one starting all the fun.
I’ll leave you with these one more, no more words from my dad as he laid in his hospital bed. He said, “ Continue to live a happy life…we had some good times, didn’t we”.